I just suddenly remembered that I had a dream two nights ago that my mother had died.
I was in a hospital room and there was a blue blanket and her head was wrapped in a white sheet, but it was not at all weird, but very respectful and comforting. I could somehow see through the sheet, so I knew that it was her.
In the dream, she did not seem old, but like a child. Innocent.
I have never had a dream of such deep piercing sadness as this one. I am getting very emotional just thinking about it now. I guess the dream encapsulated into one image all of the feelings and emotions I have about my mother.
All I regret is that we did not have had a more loving, honest, empathetic, and respectful relationship.
In the dream, I am lifting up her head. I know exactly how this feels, because I have done this with a real dead person, because I worked as a CNA–Certified Nursing Assistant.
In the end, all people want is to have good relationships.
When I was there in the hospital in my dream (and I rarely have dreams ever, because I have sleep apnea), all of my feelings about my mother were in one place, in that room, as I said.
I remember the good things. My mother took me to church and to Sunday School and to good movies in the movie theater. We ate good food in restaurants and she made some good dishes at home. All my favorite things still to this day.
God bless my mother.
This is what I will remember and appreciate my mother for.