Women and men think differently. One message I’m always receiving from women on this page is that they don’t want to submit to their husbands who are being unloving. They think that they should only submit to their husbands if they are currently loving them.

One thing I want you to see is that in Ephesians 5, wives are commanded to submit to their husbands before husbands are commanded to love their wives. It’s that way all throughout the Bible. You can’t just “submit to your husband if he’s loving you”. The submission must come first.

This order is also the same every other time that submission and love in marriage is talked about: Ephesians 5, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3.

Ephesians 5:22-33 KJV
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Colossians 3:18-19 KJV
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

1 Peter 3:1-7 KJV
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Women and men think differently. Wives don’t think that their husbands would react to a wife’s submission but he does. When a husband see’s a submissive wife, he automatically wants to love her.

As a husband myself it is my duty to love my wife. I will try to love her unconditionally but even if I fall I want my wife to still submit to me. It’s a sign of trust that my wife submits to me. She’s taking it by faith that I have what it takes to make responsible decisions. If you didn’t trust that your husband can make responsible decisions, why did you marry him?

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